Article by: Rumer Certeza

The first time I saw the trailer, I knew where this movie was headed. And it wasn't the upward direction.

Rookie Director Jackie Samuel Bayer must have thought this was just some MTV he was working on, like the Nirvana music video he had a blast with, years back.

As for the new Freddy Kruger played by Jackie Earle Haley, I think he's the one struggling to stay awake and not his victims. He doesn't have the fright factor of a Robert Englund in the 80's version who convincingly scared you out of your wits, plus sleepless nights.

And it's good I had a plastic bag with me. So I could throw up listening to the 'revived' Freddy's extremely lame one liners. Puh-leasse! Even a high school kid reciting in some boring history class could do better.

And from the beginning, even before a single popcorn (cheese flavored) entered my mouth, I had the whole movie figured out.

Freddy constantly does a rabbit-in-hat trick in various scenes, popping out of nowhere with what looked like swollen finger knives. Like the overused bathtub scene where you wait( unknowingly?) for those claws to appear. The only time you would scream is after the film, where you realize you should've just spent your money on hair gel(for me at least).

In the original flick, Freddy's appearance was only brief but suspense personified, instead of being all over the place that it literally hurts the eyes.

And with the students having to come up with a clever scheme to outwit and kill some dream psycho slasher, the idea just lights up in the snap of a finger. As instant as a reply you'd get for asking what time it is. With the 80's version, that plot on killing Freddy was a mystery, wherein the students would attempt to solve it step by step.

That goes a lot to say about the tastes of this generation. Teens nowadays like to see the same manufactured stuff over and over. Or maximum predictability, with the gore and violence already arranged. Plus, Freddy's got a new look. He looks bored as hell. Get it? Bored as hell? Even my jokes are lame.

At least I'll be able to sleep at night...BWAHAHAHA(evil laugh)!