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Article by: Rumer Certeza Photos: Fame/Zumapress |
As expected folks, Miss headline-hogging Lohan gets a mouthful from L.A. County judge Marsha N. Revel for her absence in this Thursday's court hearing, where she is currently 'stuck' in France at the Cannes Film Festival. (you'll dream of that face staring down at you sweetie)
The Beverly Hills courthouse was infested with media people and camera crews, waiting for the actress to show up. Sorry, no Lindsay. Only the judge's fiercely mutated face that could sink a billion battleships.
And miss Lohan? She was in Cannes partying her guts out. Now she remains there due to an alleged stolen passport. (Now why would anybody do that..unless it's diamond studded)
The 23-year old actress was scheduled for a mandatory court appearance in L.A. County Superior Court in order for the judge to review her probation status from a 2007 conviction for driving under the influence.
So when no Lohan showed up, all hell broke loose. And guess what Lindsay? Your favorite dish. Nope, not weed cakes, but a warrant of arrest served on a silver platter. Yummy!
"Actions speak louder than words. I've heard the best words in the world, but the actions are far more important. She has a history of not keeping scheduled appointments," Judge Revel speaks out.
But wait! Lohan's attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley comes to the porn star's (Oops. I meant that as a film role) rescue! The attorney explained to the judge that her client was stuck in France because of a stolen passport but that she now has a temporary passport, and expects Lohan to return Friday.
Nice try, Holley but no cigar. The judge wasn't born Thursday, or I meant yesterday because today's Friday. Lame. Anyway, judge Revel didn't buy that, saying, "If she wanted to be here, it looks to the court that she could have been here. But right now that's irrelevant. She was ordered to be here... There's really no valid excuse."
So now, the actress is now scheduled to appear in court Monday. Wait, I hear another one coming up. She won't be able to make it on Monday because some poodle ate her new passport...
Because of this, Revel recommends that new conditions be imposed. Such as, the troubled star not drinking alcohol, that she wear a device to measure any alcohol in her system, and that she submit to random drug tests at least weekly. The judge also gives reference to Lohan's 2007 drug case as to why the drug testing is appropriate.
Can't you just wait to get back, Lindsay, ol' pumpkin?
